Monday, 6 July 2015


Alhamdulillah, all prise belong to Allah. It's 20th of Ramadan already. so from now we (as Muslim) still have few days more to fast on this blessed month. I hope I can do a good and better ibadat than yesterday and can meet with Lailatul Qadar, inshaAllah. The most impotant thing is, I hope that Allah Swt will accept my Ibadat during this month and before.

OK here we go. About me. I'm very disappointed when my parents not allow me to continue my studies at overseas university especially Mesir or Turkey (the places that I dreamt of since childhood). At first I feel like crying for the rest of my life because I can't achieve one of my ambition in life where is I will continue my studies oversea as I really love travels. But finally after I think about it for many times, I already can accept it and start to write this post: D yeah. Allah knows better than me right?

I know my parents love me as I'm the youngest daughter in this family and my parents only have 2 daughters and no son. That's become one of the reasons why they don't allow me to continue my studies there. My mum has told me that I have to get married first before I fly so that I can bring my husband there and he will take a good care of me (how protective my mum). And she also told me that I can continue my studies oversea during Master one day. InshaAllah mum, I'll :)

So. Don't linger on that feeling too long.

I'm 19. And I think I'm really young as I still can't take a good care of myself, can't independent sometime, I can't handle stress well, and can't live alone. I need someone to talk and tell about my life, my problems and my everyday. In conclusion, i really need a partner. Partner? It doesn't mean that I need a boyfriend. Oh gosh. I don't need at all actually.  My family above all.

And yeah. About married that my mum had told me. Let's laughing. HAHAHAAHA it's not funny tho but I still wanna to laugh. Why? Because I already meet many different type of men or boys maybe but most of them like urgh af ! Kakakaka. I hope that I can find someone that is 'soleh' maybe inshaAllah. I don't need the perfect one because I'm not perfect also and I hope we can complete each other weakness. :') astaghfirullahalazim. I know I'm dreaming too high. Haha OK stop.

About my future, what course will I continue my studies, let's Allah decides it and I'm here won't stop praying that I will get the best future for my life, my parents, my family,my future husb, children and all people around me. InshaAllah. Pray for me guys.

Byeeee. ↖(^ω^)↗

Saturday, 4 July 2015


basically, this post is about me. kinda like a diary. so, dont read it unless you want to know :P and it's so long, no dont read. my mistake, dont. or you'll gonna regret reading this piece of useless writing. hahaha

I believe there are two types of people, those who likes to scroll on their instagram or twitter. People who likes to be on their instagram would be the person who prefer images than words opposites to people who likes to be on twitter which prefer words more than images. Well for me, I like to be on my twitter compared to instagram because I love to read :)

Well, that will be my short intro. heh. So, moving on to
 the main deal. Me and boys. Well, I dont really get connected to boys compared to girls today. Well, lets see.

I was raised with my only sister, but I was kinda boyish because I always spent my time with my dad (father's daughter maybee :P) and played many stuff. Gosh, it was really funny to be remembering these. People may not believe that I used to be so boyish when I was little to be seeing me like this today. haha
During my high school back then, I'm good with girls nor boys. Super fine. I can really get along so well, since I'm a bright kid back then? ;p Back then, I had my best girlfriends and boyfriends (read: kawan perempuan dan lelaki) :P I'm not going to talk about the girls since it is about the boys. heh. so H liked me and I just accepted him. KAH! I didnt even know what love was actually hahaha and then we broke up, why? bhahaha. (man's mental problem maybe)

So, when I go for my university, gosh I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO INTERACT WITH THIS BOY! HAHAHA I felt awkward like hell hahahaha but after a month maybe, I can finally act or be friends properly with that boy on wechat at first (he add me) and then by using whatsapp ahaha. He was the only one who keeps contacted me and we became best buddy and funny how it ends that I told him that I had crush on him for so long. we became a good friend or what i dont know but we always spent our time together (eating,chilling,outing,dating and so on) Many people got curious with us. We were more than a friend but not a couple.. flirtlationship maybe bahahaha. many memories and after all gosh sorry to me, He've friendzoned me. upsss and well you know what happened to me. not crazy but look like a desperate person (even Im not that desperate but hmm memories kill me emotionally and physically). oh God :( only you know what i feel.. how i miss him and Im never stop praying that he will realize it one day. . i hope that i can meet him again during degree or after degree and the old us come back..make a serious relationship, grow old and struggle for Jannah together (omg what type of nightmare is this? hahahaha) 

Just like seosons, people change.


Well, thats the reason why I dont want to get so close with boys unless their intention is really just to be friends and that's totally fine with me. I just dont want things happens again where its killed my soul..... gosh I really feel bad....isnt Im not that good girl? hmm .

 That's how me and boys are all about. and oh ya, by having someone, I dont feel like looking at other guys heh. there might be other guy that is greater than him but nah, no thanks, im good. :p

WELL THIS IS A LONG POST. HAHA. writing this cause I'm bored and insomnia hits me tonight. and now it's 435 am and Selamat Bersahurrr so goodbye!